have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
