Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
