She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
