He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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