he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
