apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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