im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i out mim tonsoeep
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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