I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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