I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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