Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
