Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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