Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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