Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
