now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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