Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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