I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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