Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
