Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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