Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
