Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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