We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
