u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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