there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
