"it" just moved
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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