So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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