where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
More tranny stories later!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
