look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
