Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
