I feel like I'm in dance class right now
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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