You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
