from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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