2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
