i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
