I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
