ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My friends, they love my intelligence
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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