He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
