Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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