definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I need moral support for this bender
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
