Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
