My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
