i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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