we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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