He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
