SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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