I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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