So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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