there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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