It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
