No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is Oprah even human
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
