this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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