I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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