he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
