I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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