ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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