I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My vagina just clenched in fear
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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