I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
